Learning to understand and embrace my blackness has been a struggle ever since I was a young girl. I’ve constantly been in a battle with my identity, whether it be my culture or my black features, such as my hair. Growing up, I went to a predominantly white primary school, so not many people looked like me, and my main friendship circle was all white.
This actually caused some deep-rooted issues within me, as I constantly wanted to look like my white friends. I wanted to have blue eyes, long luscious hair that I could swish about, and of course, lighter skin.
I’ll never forget the day I wore my natural hair out in its full form to school, and a girl pulled a weird face at my hair and laughed, insinuating my hair was ugly and weird. I felt so embarrassed.
The issue is, back then, and even still today, the epitome of beauty is based on Eurocentric features. In magazines, on TV and pretty much everywhere, black people were hardly represented.
Artwork by @schedraws on Instagram
It was also very confusing for me as a child given that I have a white mum, who matched the exact criteria for all of these beauty standards. Why didn’t I look like her? Why didn’t I have exotic eyes and why did I have a “nappy” afro?
Like many young black girls, I ended up relaxing my hair, which chemically straightened it and took out the curl. What is so sad is once I started relaxing my hair, I felt beautiful because it looked like my friend’s. In the end, this process damaged my hair so much the front of my hair broke off.
These issues followed me into secondary school too, as although my school was much more diverse, my main friendship circle was white or had these Eurocentric features that I so badly wanted. It took me a very long time to accept my blackness, and realise that black is beautiful.
@schedraws
Social media has been a great way not only for myself, but I believe for other black girls to learn to love their uniqueness. I’ve been able to use it to learn about how to manage my hair, as well as seeing a community of black women uplifting and empowering each other.
But there is still so much more that needs to be done.
We still lack the representation that we deserve.
Dionne Davenport (left, played by Stacey Dash) an example of the 'token black friend' in mainstream media.
We also need to come together and dismantle the racism that black people have unfairly had to face for the past 400 years and counting. It’s not just down to the black community though. Non-black people can be an ally, by either educating themselves or their family, donating to black-owned charities or signing petitions. W need to feel represented and know we can be more than just a stereotype.
Artwork by @lalegecreative on Instagram
The past couple of months after the death of George Floyd have been really challenging for me and many other black people I know. It feels like every week I’m hearing a new case of a black person who has unjustly died. This heartbreak, anger and pain are what led me to attend a couple of Black Lives Matter Protests, which have been the most liberating and empowering experiences of my entire life.
Again, social media has been such a useful tool in helping me learn things I wasn’t even aware of, such as how disproportionately black people are arrested and incarcerated in the UK and US.
I feel like people are waking up, and we need to keep on fighting.
Today, I can say I am so proud to be a black woman.
I have learnt to love and be proud of my skin, my brown eyes and my big afro that I once hated with a passion. I am unapologetically black and embrace it in every possible way.
To my young black Queens' and Kings: Don’t let anyone ever tell you are not beautiful.
Your features are beautiful. Your culture is beautiful. Your blackness is beautiful.
My journey to “coming to terms” with my blackness has been a long and complicated one, but it has made me the person I am today and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Today's feature writer is Paige! I can relate to a lot of what Paige shares, in particular comparing myself to the wrong beauty standards. Similarly, in my own piece 'My Experience with Racism' I too felt that sense of loneliness and loss of identity as I held myself up to standards that were nowhere near realistic. Representation is incredibly important and I am so proud to see people like Paige breaking down these ceilings, as seen in her great work as a BBC journalist. It is an honour to have someone as inspiring as her so willing to share her story with Platform. I encourage you all to listen to her words and embrace your culture because we are all beautiful once we find acceptance in who we are.
Follow Paige on Twitter @PaigeNealHolder where she posts all links to her latest piece of work and would appreciate the love! (Also have a bitta banter on there too).
Join her @platform_blog on insta this Saturday to interact with her!
Have a story to share? DM me on insta @platform_blog or comment down below to get in touch.
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