On the 8th of October 2002, I was officially named a Flynn.
Nearly a whole year since I was brought into the world and I was finally leaving the orphanage that I was abandoned for the first time with my new parents and older sister. A chunky, happy-go-lucky baby that I was did not realise what poverty I was escaping, nor did I see the huge life opportunity that was being handed to me.
From a very young age, I’ve always known I was abandoned on the steps of an overcrowded orphanage, filled to the brim with predominantly unwanted little girls. Yes, this was the reality of the one-child policy in China - that boys were much preferred over girls. Boys were ‘needed’ to carry out manual labour, offer financial support for the family and most importantly, continue the family name - something that the Chinese held very close to their culture. This harsh rule caused a dramatic surge in terminated pregnancies, illegal abortions and a preposterously high gender imbalance.
Growing up in an Irish household in a particularly white area in England was very easy to adapt to for me - I came to this country very young, totally impressionable, and knew next to nothing about my life in another country, a completely different world to what I was living in England. My parents did as much as they could to keep the Chinese culture alive in our house, even if it did mean 8 years at Mandarin School alongside my three other adopted sisters who are all from similar situations but different locations around the country.
On the same day I was adopted, four others just as young as myself, girls were also given to new parents - these parents, including my own, were complete strangers, yet, they had one thing in common; they had all adopted a baby girl from the Guangzhou Provence on the 8th of October 2002. To this day, I am very much in contact with the four girls, who, likewise, live in England, and have siblings additionally adopted from China. Though we have been brought up by different families of diverse ethnicities and colour, we have a deeply rooted connection that goes right back to this particular date in the past.
In 2012, my family decided to travel back to China on a 3-week tour of myself and my siblings’ home provinces. At the time, I was a mere 10-year-old, with little insight on how unimaginable the poverty in parts of China was - however the experience of seeing the realities of the place I was born was eye-opening. From seeing the filthy conditions of the trade markets to watching a man being brutally publicly beaten on the streets, the fantastical imaginary scenarios I had created of my hometown were quickly forgotten. We went to visit the orphanages we had spent the first months of our lives in. Although the living standards had considerably improved, the orphanages were full of children all of which had visible disabilities.
A ridiculously common question I’m guaranteed to be asked is “Where are you from?” - and ironically, I’m not entirely sure. The answer that people expect me to reply with is “I’m Chinese,”; however, my response is, defiantly, “I’m Irish!”. People find it unusual to hear of such an Irish surname with an evidently non-Irish face and my answer does bring about a couple of confused faces. Yes, it’s true that I was found and adopted in China, and yes, I do hold Irish citizenship, but what about my birth parents? What if only my mother or
only my father were Chinese? I have constantly been told I look very Filipina over Chinese. My origins have always left me puzzled, and one day I would love to take a DNA test to know for sure.
On the other hand, I find the question to be intrusive, racist, and frankly ignorant. Being told my English accent is very good, or people attempting to talk to me in mock Chinese accents is only a small portion of bigotry that I receive as an Asian. When discussing racism, Asians are often forgotten about; mainly because we are put in the ‘POC’ bracket. Our stereotypes, although they are mainly positive, precede us.
All in all, my experiences of living in a predominately white country have been standard. I have always faced some aspect of racism due to my Asian origins, however, it has always been minimised because of my ‘white’ upbringing. I have had the double-edged sword of privilege that I will never fully relate to my Chinese brothers and sisters raised in Chinese households who constantly have to face the realisation that they are not the same. Thanks to my upbringing I haven’t had to identify with the oppression that Chinese people have faced in our society; but as a result, I will never truly be able to identify with their struggle either, and with their rich and lasting culture.
No matter what, I am and will be forever grateful for the amazing opportunities that living here has given me. All these life experiences have shown me that everything happens for a reason and we should embrace every change for the better.
Today's feature writer is Mary Kate! When reading her piece I was so engaged and intrigued by the process of adoption that it has opened my own eyes and heart to the possibility of it in the future. You often hear about the one-child policy in China on the news or in school but, you never get the chance to hear about it from a first-hand perspective so, to see just how life-changing a stranger's kindness and welcoming heart can truly be, makes her story all the more touching and inspiring.
Check out Mary Kate's scarf business @mksscarves !
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